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MY BROTHER/FRIENDSHIP WITH DJ AM….

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To my brother Adam, (this is some personal shit, for anyone who has something negative to say about it, tell me to my face, this goes for friends of his as well. I speak on behalf of myself and nothing is meant or even hinted in a disrespectful way)

Dear Adam,

It’s Yang, aka Ben Yizzle your friend for 2 decades…. the last 34 hours have been some of the toughest I’ve been through in a very long time if not ever. I am so confused, I’m angry, I’m hurt, I’m pretty much fucked up in the head, so are so many of your dearest family/friends. I know your story, so we are all your family pretty much. Well, Me Homicide and Jon and Kev E. Kev just threw a gathering in your honor to get the OG’s heads to show up and mad OG’s showed up to talk, spread love and just get frustrations & pain and memories off our chests and out of our way without any annoyances or outsiders making shit uncomfortable. (on the drive to the Telly, me and Homicide were bumping old school ice cube and imitating the scratches like we used to anytime we were in the car listening to music! damn) Shit I’ve known you since you were AMG and when you were slanging lil dime bags and we were in search of all the classic samples from Roy Ayers breaks to Grover Washington originals, etc… We’ve been from good times to bad times, from drugs to sobriety, from being broke to caviar wishes coming true & first class flights…. but most importantly, Adam I want you to know this: I AM SORRY FOR ANY OF THE FIGHT’S WE HAD, ALL OF THEM WERE SO DUMB AND SO CHILDISH! I hope you know when were battling for the top nightclub DJ spot it was all out of friendly competition. I talked to Brent Bolthouse tonight about the mid to late 90’s when I had Grand Ville poppin and my ego was absolutely out of control… to when we were both at Opium Den and Las Palmas and then you sky rocketed into different areas. before LAX, etc… (remember when I got the 1st billboard in Las Vegas and threw shit into your face and you never acted or reacted like a bitch out of spite, you let your hand skills talk always and I never wanted to practice with you because I knew you were nicer with the scratches, but I was still that party starter lol… you were always nice while I was the dickhead asshole dj)
People thought I gave up, but you knew I was over it and once serrato hit, I was really just like this shit is some new jack mickey mouse bullshit everyone wants to be a dj but has no clue of what 2 turntables were really originated from, so I retired, but it was still all love, you never made it uncomfortable, you kept it crazy humble.
and btw, I never hated on you, no matter what people thought, you know we woulda never started AMC if that was so, AMC was so much more than just sneakers and djing. AMC was also so many years after our friendship was certified. I was not only your biggest fan, but so was Homicide…. remember we used to look at him from afar when he was rocking stages for over 20,000 + audiences and then we all toured and everything, but now we were the ones watching you rock stages of 50,000+ like it’s NOTHING! I always had love for you and I will admit as I did tonight to Kev E Kev that I was too proud to take some of your fill in gigs because of my stupid ass ego. I had too much pride from being the biggest Hollywood dj at one point to play 2nd best to you, I was so lame and dumb for that… I worked so hard to basically live beyond my means back then…. to drive an M3 or a porsche carrera and have all those kicks to fill an empty image…. but we got a hold of ourselves and realized that money only bought us conveniences and afforded us nice hotel rooms with late nights @ the bellagio cafe. I miss you so much adam. fuck man, I’m so mad you had to fucking relapse. I’m so mad you did that show even though you meant well for those who needed help. I’m so fucking angry, grown man to grown man that you had to go through some of these trials and pain. You are definitely in a better place now. You are definitely in heaven no doubt. I know God let you in. I am so frustrated by all the idiots and rumors that have been spread now because of your celebrity status, but really….. it was meant to be for you, AMC and our whole circle of fam to be stars. We had talents, BUT you were especially so amazing at taking an idea and executing it to the fullest…. you surpassed many of us when we were already ahead of the game. But fuck all of that. you supported so many people, you gave jobs to many and fed many. You took care of your mom like a good son is supposed to. I still can’t believe this. So many stories bro, like Alan Alchemist said, we lived 3 lifetimes worth of memories and I will never forget any of them…. from “you’re soooo not inspectah deck to ohhh what movie would that be? the Phantom?” to trynna cheat our way out of paying the $120 parking bill at LAX after the sugar ray tour…. to teaching me how to play hold em’….. FUCK ADAM, SO MUCH SHIT! me and Homicide went through videos of us and you that haven’t never been seen before by the public… we have folders and tons of archives of pictures of all of us, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT NOR DID ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU WERE 350LBS. we all loved you regardless, you never got that huh? nobody who knew you the OG you cared bro. Everytime I was being a scumbag piece of shit, you would call me out on it, when I cheated on girlfriends, did drugs, whatever, you had no problem with telling me about it. I did the same, but you hardly fucked up. I don’t know what else to say. We’re having a bbq 2moro for you and then gonna give you a proper goodbye this week. so I guess I’ll see you soon.

damn damn damn
shalom Mr. Goldstein.

I can’t believe this and never thought I’d outlive you, especially after the plane crash. If it wasn’t for that crash, I woulda never got in shape (rest in peace Che’ Charles Still & Lil Chris)… damn from Frek One to Brent Shapiro…. now I’m actually going to be attending your funeral and I’m FUCKING SICK ABOUT THAT!
Niko made some amazing memorial pics in honor of you and Matt Colon made one too… you already know we have many other pics. but these are what I want on this blog… of course on your first stage dive you’re wearing OG AJ III’s

p.s. you really changed the game with this dj shit. you pushed the bar so high that nobody can ever reach the level you were at and nobody could replace you EVER! I’m proud of you homey. have a peaceful journey. I love you
when all these psuedo dj’s would be scared to play real hip hop or just get way too pop or vegas, you were the cat who threw on DIPSET “I really mean it” as your first song entering the night and force these squares to listen to shit they had no clue about! I was right there with you homey, you already know!

BY

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