if it’s not 1 thing, it’s another

Posted on

So pops levels got back to normal, then his kidney’s failed, so I was expecting the surgery to go down a few days ago already, but his situation has got worse….. got a different surgeon’s opinion and also because needed a different doc because the situation is now more critical. Pops got a rare tumor (like 1 in every 200,000 people who have tumors get this one) good thing is if my pops can get healthy in the next few weeks, then surgery is 88% successful, but still even if it’s all good, then he’s lookin at a few years to 5-6 years left max (he’s well in his 70’s and I know the average life span is 75 or so, but damn shit ain’t easy to accept) I mean, he was carrying boxes and working 2 weeks ago right before I left to NYC. So now pops is in ICU and its not fun to watch…..

He’s always followed doctor’s directions….. used to eat a lot of red meat, chilled out big time….. he smoked cigarettes (marlboro reds for 20+ years easily at a pack a day) quit cold turkey now for 20 years now. has been doing yoga and always kept some sort of healthy lifestyle with golf or other things like Tai Chi, so it’s just god’s time.

now to me?
I’ve always been told, don’t eat too much red meat, don’t eat too many sweets, don’t drink so much soda, don’t smoke weed, don’t drink liquor, don’t do this, your oral/dental health is a reflection of your overall health.
shut the fuck up please,
I THINK YOU SHOULD EAT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO EAT! IF IT TASTES GREAT TO YOU, THEN FUCK IT, EAT UP AND HAVE THAT SHIT!(as long as you ain’t shittin blood or diarrhea) Don’t short change yourself or lifestyle. I’ve lived a good amount of life and don’t regret any of the toxic foods(or so called “bad food”) I’ve ate and even if it gave me the BG’s(me talking ignorant now) or shit I’ve done and I don’t honestly know if I want to live to be 75(I doubt I’ll make it that far with all the shit I’ve done)
now I’ve chilled out on all the recreational excess shit including drinking big time, but I ain’t about to give up my peanut butter m&m’s and coca cola completely or other sweets, pizza, etc…

but I guess it’s because I’m not married… I feel like my pops did this because he wanted to be around longer to see his grandkids and not widow my mom’s early and etc etc…. but I want to live life, I don’t want to just exist. Maybe when I drop a seed, things will change. I’m not ranting and mad about bullshit and now I’m thinking of not even publishing this blog entry.

I don’t know.

I’m weird as fuck these days

got a tattoo appt today with mister cartoon(pushed it back 2x already and you don’t/can’t do that with cartoon but thats my fam) so I gotta def try to finish up this back piece(def too early to do something in remembrance of pops and I’m not giving up)


I’ve even chilled out on red meat totally for a week now and am trying to maybe chill out on it for the rest of the year and see how my stomach feels….. but If it tastes good and

← Older Post Newer Post →